An open letter

To the previous homeowners.

Please consider what you are doing if you ever buy a home again. This is most likely your biggest investment of your life. Please take that into consideration. Treat it as such.
Never paint it faux marble or maroon/purple/mocha. Especially in Texas. It just reads as stupid and boredom on your part. Plus it will greatly hinder your selling process. Less than one mortgage payment in neutral paint would have helped it move it move in the market. Instead of you needing to pay the mortgage for an additional 6 months. Even had a realtor tell you that. Shame on you.
Please clean your house. In talking to my property managers, there are three kinds of clean. Clean enough, clean enough for guests and clean enough for property transactions. Remove all makeup from drawer fronts. Dispose of your fingernail clippings in the garbage. Don't save them in a drawer. It will just creep out the new owners and make the woman go on a cleaning rampage to touch every surface in your former home with solvent based cleaner and her beloved Magic Eraser. Do the baseboards once a year. Wipe cabinets out. Dust every so often. Don't let wax build up, just scrape it off. Remember to clean or at least hose off the outside of the structure as well. Cleanliness is next to godliness.
The new owners are grateful for items left behind in most cases. The stainless steel crockpot, multi-tray food dehydrator, stereo receiver with cords pulled thru the walls are blessings. The vacuum with a dog's worth of hair, not so much. But again, woman armed with solvent cleaner and screwdriver strikes.
Be a good pet owner as well. Clean up food as it spills. Don't just move it to the next cabinet for additional spilling. Replace any door stop caps (all 11) that Fido eats off. Also don't leave the dog in a closet. This will cause it to gnaw on the closet shelves. Bad owner! And again, as you invested in the nice pet hair vacuum, clean it and remove the filter once a month.
Your slack attitude allowed us to buy your good home and with much sweat (it is Texas), and 8 Magic Erasers, 3 scotch brite scrubbers, a whole bottle of cleanser, a good spray of EZ Off and several hundred dollars in Paint, it is worth well more than the price we paid.
Signed,
New Chez Nickell owners, Houston location