This crazy language

25 June 2009- This has been a long time coming, a rant about the French language.
I just collected another funny story about the "words" in French. My first one involves my french tutor. We went round and round about the violence in sports. I was telling her about rugby and the fact that the guys wear those skin tight and odd looking helmets to prevent their ears from getting ripped off (true story). If you don't have a helmet, you can just wrap some TAPE around your head. The key word, tape. Tried to come up with it in French and after the VHS and cassette tape, she came up with le Scotch. That is right, the French call scotch tape: le scotch. Second story involves taking a friend to the pharmacy for a remedy for her ailing knees. She wanted a wrap or heating patch. In my conversation to the pharmacist, I told him we were looking for a heating thing that sticks. Comment dit on? His response, oh le patch. Kidding me right? Well last week we needed one more spot for someone to sleep on. Everybody in Paris I know has an airbed but all too big for the room. I went out searching for our own twin sized airbed. I once again asked the worker at the sporting good store for a "bed filled with air or un lit avec l'air." Oh, le airbed. Says it right on the package.
Who needs to know French, just say the closest description of it in english with a french freaking accent?
And then look determined to get whatever it is.

Ready to get to le resto this le weekend for une milkshake during happy hours. Or do you prefer un cocktail? Get your car out of le parking and let's faire du camping with our new le airbed. Ah, Franglais, it doesn't get any better. Take that Academie Francais.